Mommy instinct was right again...

Poor L has an ear infection again. He has been congested and coughing since the latter part of last week, and started diggin in his ear a little this weekend, so I figured it was coming...with him, it has been pretty consistant in his short two years that if he gets really congested, he is going to have an ear infection. His little ears are still learning how to function properly.

Last night he started crying as soon as I put him down to bed...and not an 'I don't want to go to bed so I am going to cry to try and get my way' cry, which BTW, doesn't work on me anymore; but a definite 'this freakin' hurts' cry. I gave him some Tylenol and got him to sleep, but he awoke a couple hours later crying, and from there it was a lot of rocking, crying, frustration and not much sleep. He finally fell asleep with me in our bed about 4:30, and when I got up for work, I left him sleep there with Daddy. I got him an appt and W took him in. But he doubted me; when I called him to tell him when the appt was, he said "L's running all over like a wild man, happy as all get out, not acting sick at all" to which I replied that it won't hurt to have them checked out anyway, just to make sure. Seriously? I knew there was something wrong, because he NEVER sleeps that horribly unless something is wrong.

So, unfortunately, my instincts were right, and he does have an infection, but I am glad I trusted myself and sent him to the Dr, as it was not a wasted trip.

L

Better Now - with UPDATE

I am back at it today and feeling 100% better, thank my stars. Last week was horrible; every time I thought I was feeling better I would soon enough be assured that I was no where near better. I ate toast and bananas and applesauce all week. Thankfully, L didn't get the worst of it, although his stomach is a little wacky as evidenced by his diapers the last few days (I assure you, once the baby arrives, I am making a deal with W that I will change EVERY SINGLE baby diaper as long as he changes L's poopies!!!! I will take that yellow, seedy, up the back of the diaper breastmilk poop over grilled cheese and big people food poop anyday. C'mon potty training...)

I am super backlogged on reading my blogs!! It will take me 3 times as long to catch up, I think. Being down a week really sets you back!!

Luckily, last week was a slower week at work, and if I needed to take time off, it was at least a good time work wise...although I hate eating up so much PTO all at once, and to lay around being sick, none the less. Technically, I only used 3 days...but 3 precious days I could have used for something fun like a me day, or a day to spend time with L enjoying the nice weather! Since I am salary, 1/2 days or less don't really count against our PTO, unless you abuse it, of course.

The thing I love about being so sick is how appreciative I feel when I finally feel better! Even the screaming ache in my hips and back seem to have quieted down a bit for now.

Yesterday was okay. I could have handled a much more relaxing day, but at least I got a pretty decent walk in, and a short nap. But much of the day was spent running around, visiting the other mothers in my life. Even though I am a mom myself now, the day still seems to be more about our moms. Only because I allow it to be though, I suppose. And I love W to death, but I must say, I could stand him to be a little more sentimental and thoughtful and romantic when it comes to things like Mother's day and birthdays. But I knew this about him, and chose to love him anyway. He has come so far in so many other ways in our time together, that I still hold out hope that he will come around a bit on this, too.

*UPDATE*

I am so excited! I have this pyschic medium friend who is just so amazing, and does these wonderful spirit guide sessions she calls Soul Portraits. It is a reading / healing session...she connects with your spirit guides to bring forth the information that you need at the time...if you check out the link she explains it better...And you come home with a beautiful, completely unique, piece of artwork.

Anyway, I have had oh...5 or 6 sessions with her in the last 8 years, and am convinced that she sees and is open to things which most of us do / are not. The first time I had a session with her, we did not know each other at all, and she blew me away, and convinced me, a skeptical believer if you will, that she is genuine...that session was mostly focused on my friend Lynda who had recently died in a tragic car accident caused by a drunk driver. It was one of the most spiritually healing experiences I have ever had. Over the years, I have come to call her my friend, and she has continued to make me a believer in her gifts. I have seen her leave several of my friends as blown away as I was and have been.

Over the years and through my multiple sessions with her, we have talked about my children; which at the times of most of the sessions, were still 'future' children...I am so excited because she not only does Soul Portraits of adults, but also of children, and even babies IN THE WOMB! I am going to see her on Thursday to have a mini Soul Portrait done of this baby, and I am very, VERY excited. She has conveyed messages to me that already seem to be playing out when it comes to L, and I am excited to see what this baby's spirit guides are going to tell me. I already believe that my friend Lynda has been with this baby, and will continue to be with this baby as a guide, which makes my heart happy, and makes me even more excited about this session, as it presents a chance to reconnect with her as well.

I will post a photo of the Soul Portrait on Friday. Wish me fun!

Just whining....

So today, I am just going to whine.

Sunday evening, after a long weekend of a lot of running and time spent outside, and a few ball park hotdogs and lots of sun on Sunday afternoon, I started feeling nauseus and crappy...I hardly slept Sunday night because the nausea was so bad. I woke up Monday morning and puked and felt generally shitty. So I sent L to daycare and stayed home and tried to sleep the day away. But seeing that I can only go a few hours of laying in one location, I spent much of the day tossing, and turning and moving from one couch, to the other, to the bed and back again. I got up in the evening and went with W to his father's for dinner and to pick up L, mostly because I had to get up off the couch, my back and hips were hurting so bad.

Today, I woke up feeling much better, but now, after a couple of hours, I am not so sure that I am feeling all that much better. It is either a minor flu, or plain old pregnancy discomfort. I am REALLY REALLY hoping it is the former, because seriously, if this is all pregnancy discomfort, and this is how it is going to be from here on out, I have NO CLUE how the hell I am going to make it another 12 weeks. I do not want this baby to come out before s/he is ready, but man, I am getting huge and SO sore...my back is still killing my, and I just feel like the baby is wedged in there in some weird ass position, and my hips hurt and my pelvis hurts, and I can't even go home and sleep the day away because that only makes my back hurt worse.

**SIGH**

Okay. I am done whining for now. It will all be worth it in the end...Keep my eye on the prize...I just have to keep telling myself these things. And hope that this is a little bug, and I am feeling at least a little better soon...and that the next 12 weeks go REALLY fast...or maybe also that this baby is ready a couple weeks early like L was.

Sending you elsewhere to see something I like...

I hope you will take a second and stop over and check out BHJ's post today at Wind in Your Vagina...If you have never visited him, let me just say that BHJ is a great writer, with an amazing way of visualizing his world and painting it with beautiful words and metaphors, and I am at times insanely jealous of his talents and his ability to so perfectly describe his outlook on the world, which often echos mine, but is expressed more beautifully than I could ever hope to express it.

His post today is wonderful and perfect and powerful.

Tidbit

On my way to work, there is a billboard that is sponsored by some society for healthier people, and it has been advertising the benefits of and promoting eating fresh fruits and veggies.

The other morning as I drove by, I noticed it had been changed to read:

"Grapes: The original grape flavored snack"

Hell yeah. I laughed out loud.

On my mind

Just a couple of things that are / have been on my mind.

-My recent reminiscing of my early days with W got me wanting to go through my old photos. I have been meaning to weed out the duplicates and then someday put them in the empty albums I asked for and received a couple of Christmases ago. On Saturday, I sat on the living room floor and pulled out the big box of photos and started going through them. W sat down next to me while L played with his cars near us. It was GREAT. We reminisced together over memories of days gone by - the good and the bad. And even better than the together-remembering was the deep conversation that followed. We talked about our childhoods and how they affected us similarly and differently (not that we haven't done this before, but it is the first real deep conversation since we became parents, which changes and clarifies your perspective so greatly...) We talked about how I have been going through some really intense reflecting lately, and how I am having issues with my feelings toward my parents right now. We talked about raising L and this coming baby, and how and why we want and NEED and WILL do things differently. It was some intense reconnecting that we REALLY REALLY needed. It was lovely.

-Not too long ago W and I had a conversation about homosexuality. I can't remember what spurred it, and I don't remember the conversation in detail, but the part that makes me sad is that we came to a point where I started getting angry at him for his opinion, and we had to agree to disagree...he truly believes that homosexuality is a CHOICE, that it is a 'learned behavior' and I do not. As far as gay marriage goes, I don't think he could care less either way, but he was surprised and disappointed that I totally believe that TRUE homosexuality is not a choice. It makes me sad that we disagree on that at such a fundamental level.

-W's mom asked us to go out to eat with them on Saturday at a place called Treasure Island. On Saturday morning, as I was getting L dressed, I told him that we were going to meet G-ma and R at Treasure Island and have lunch, and did that sound like fun? His eyes got all wide, he started nodding his head yes, and he said "We gon be PIRATES! We need a boat, too Mama!!!" at first, I was wondering what the heck he was talking about when it dawned on me that Dora the Explorer (L's favorite cartoon character) and her friends dress up as pirates and go sailing off to Treasure Island to look for buried treasure!! I laughed so hard! We had a blast on the way there pretending that the car was a boat, and that the river we crossed was Crocodile Lake; another obstacle that Dora and her friends must cross before they can get to Treasure Island. He woke this morning immediately talking about G-ma and R and pirates and treasure...Ahhh, he's growing up too fast.

-I have almost 15 weeks to go yet in this pregnancy, and it feels like a LONG time, and I am SO SORE. All the time. My hips and back and pelvic region seem to be feeling it much worse this time. Probably doesn't help that I am at the weight already at 25 weeks that I was at at 31 weeks last time. It's a lot of extra weight for my body to carry around...Yeah; I gained THIRTEEN, yes that's 13 pounds in the last 5 weeks (Go ahead and laugh, Kori, it's okay, my doctor did!)...I am not even sure how that is humanly possible, but obviously, for this human, it is. I thought I was doing kind of okay, I figured I would have another 8# month like last month, but it was even worse. I have promised myself and my doctor to buckle down a bit and hopefully slow the weight gain. So yeah, it feels like a LONG time to go. I know it will go by fast, but I am gonna be one crabby mama bear by the time this baby pops out! I am just going to keep walking as much as I can, at least 4 times a week, and keep stretching and hopefully I won't get too much more sore than I am now.

-Here's some more true as hell pregnancy information that, were you never pregnant yourself, you would probably never know. Having a little person kicking you LITERALLY in the anus from the inside is the WEIRDEST.FEELING.EVER. Or maybe she is kicking something like my intestine that's connected to my anus, but my anus is where I 'feel' it. Either way, it is not really all that pleasant. Sorry, but it's been happening, and it's on my mind.