Third day back at work, and things are okay. Only okay. But that is better than terrible!
Evenings are 10X more hectic with two than they were with just the one, and the hardest part is that baby C is extremely worn out, a bit cranky, and sleeping within an hour and a half to two hours of me picking him up from daycare. BEYOND FUCKING SUCKY. I have hardly seen his coo-ing, smiley, happy personality at all this week. And I know it will get better; he will get more used to all the stimulation and will adjust and won't be so tired in the evenings, L went through the same thing. But for now it really sucks. SO I have been letting him fall asleep on the boob and just holding his sleeping little self for a bit before laying him down in his crib.
This morning was a bad drop off...Baby C was crying, L was whining, I was running late. I tried to comfort the baby while helping L get his shoes off, but ended up having to turn the baby over still crying, and in all the commotion I didn't even get my hug and kiss from L and didn't get to tell him I love him and to have a good day. Not a good way to start my day.
On top of it all, today is 10 years since my friend Paul shot himself. I do not mourn him any longer; in fact I think I have stated before that I think things are better for many people, him included, the way things are, but it is still a tough memory. I still remember the day like it was yesterday, of course.
So yeah, today is another tough day. Soon I will stop posting crappy, sad, whiny posts, but that's all I got for today.
So Very Many Mixed Emotions
20 hours ago
4 comments:
Meh, it's all life; the good and the bad. I know that you know this, but they WILL adjust. And so will you. Even though getting there sucks ass. Still, let me ask, WHAT IS WRONG with letting C. fall asleep nursing and you holding him before putting him in bed?? You need that; he needs that. And it WILL make it easier to adjust.
Sending you hugs, and wishing I would do more.
Nothing Kori. Nothing is wrong with doing that, but some militant camp of parenting nazi's out there says that not letting your child fall asleep on their own, or nursing them to sleep, will create bad sleeping habits and patterns and that he won't know how to comfort himself to sleep when he gets older, and as much as I know I believe that it is partly a bunch of CRAP, I also have found that, as a parent, I am incessantly worrying about how I am parenting and if what I am doing is going to create bad habits or make them into bratty monsters. I think I have watched too much SuperNanny type crap. And I *KNOW* I need to just relax, and follow my heart, and if I do that then they will be just fine; that I KNOW this because I felt the same way about some things when L was younger and he is doing fine so far, but I am an anxious Type A Capricorn, and it is hard for me to just *relax*, go with the flow, and trust my heart instead of questioning EVERYthing and EVERY opinion and EVERY possible outcome. So, what you said to me is exactly what I need - someone to remind me that those nazis are nuts, that I cannot spoil my 3 month old, and that I need to follow my heart and know that we BOTH need that cuddling and bonding right now...so thanks :-)
Hi Justme,
Thanks for the visit and for adding me to your blog list. I am honored.
I will be reading what you have to write regularly as well. Very glad to virtually meet you.
Best,
SB
Don't apologize for anything. Any mother who wasn't feeling completely stressed at leaving her children at daycare would be highly suspect in my opinion.
Yes. Let him sleep on the tit as long as you both want. Why the hell not?
That is love. Can't have too much of that.
Post a Comment