This is when it's hard.
When I am here, in my office pumping. Thiss is when I cannot help but think of his little self. If I close my eyes, I can picture him down there suckling. I can smell him and I can feel his fuzzy little head cupped in my palm like it is when he nurses. His chubby little hands resting on my breast, or wrapped around my finger. his little jaw moving; suck-suck-swallow...
I can see his face when his belly is full and he pulls of, looks me in the eyes, sticks his tongue out and smiles and coos at me. So content and full and happy. His new thing is blowing raspberries when he finishes. He lays there looking up at me smiling and blowing raspberries.
Yeah. This is when it's hard.
So Very Many Mixed Emotions
20 hours ago
5 comments:
When I first went back to work after Owen. it was the same for me; I did kind of okay until my breaks for pumpoing, and then I would sit in the bathroom and pump and sob. It got better, but not until I started tkaing anti-depressants. I just send oyu big hugs, you know?
I'm sending you hugs too. This must be just terrible to go through.
I can't imagine how tough it must be for you. I didn't leave Champ for more than 1 hour until he was over 8 months (extreme, I know!). It will get better for you soon I am sure, hope it passes quickly til you see your boys.
Thanks ladies for the hugs :-)
Sympathies, my dear.
Love, SB.
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