He even wrote me a poem...

I had intentions of watching the entire presidential debate last night, but when I put L to bed and W decided to go visit a friend in need for a bit, the beckoning of my little black box (which is actually a chest) was more than I could resist. So, I shut the door so the light crossing the hall would not wake the boy and I cracked open my chest of memories for the first time in a LONG time...

I pushed aside various things that I had no desires for at that moment; I waded through awards and cards and pages of jokes and emails and Lynda's obituary (luv and miss you, my Lyndy Lou)and the cast from when I broke my thumb a few years ago, and a couple of journals (I DO want to read through them again, but not right now, I have a VERY specific target right now) and some high school pictures of various people I have forgotten about over the 11 years since I graduated. I set aside a couple of shoe boxes of notes from high school and AHA! There it is, the shoebox with the letters. I know exactly where they are, standing up along the left hand side of the box.

I pulled them out; there were 5 of them total, less than I remember. I guess we talked on the phone more than we corresponded by letters. They are numbered, in the order I received them, and inside of each envelope the pages are numbered too. I took #1 out of the envelope and I could see where the cologne had soaked in and blurred the edges of the ink...I put it to my nose, but the smell has long since dissipated; damn.

#2 is the letter that had the kindergarten picture, but it also had a 7th grade photo which I had forgotten about.

#3 had the trinket; it was a little button that said "Too drunk for sex", with a reference to the button being "totally you - NOT!" I do not drink, and I think it was also a little joke about me (as of yet) not wanting to have sex with him (which he was totally respectful of). 'It reminds me of us' was what he said in regard to the clipping he included of an Obsession ad with a man's face buried in a naked female torso; very sexy.

#3 was also the letter with the poem. I had totally forgotten he had written me a poem. It was sweet and abstract and full of metaphor, and I remember thinking at the time that it was perfect.

Reading back through the letters confirmed my memory that he indeed liked me as much as I liked him and that my mind has not been embellishing the details as our minds tend to do as the distance between now and then grows. It reminded me why he holds a spot in my heart still, and that knowing how he is doing now could very well turn the sweet memories bitter and taint the good life I have imagined for him.

I put the letters back in order and back in the box against the end where I had found them, where they will stay until I get the urge in another 10 years to re-live one of the good times from my childhood / teenage years. I have decided I can never throw them out. I would regret it when next I had the NEED to see them and take that trip.

That was not, however, the end of my trip down memory lane...after I finished with the JJ letters, I went through a few of the notes from the HS notes shoe boxes...OMG R, I wanted you there with me SO bad! We REALLY need to have a day of reading through those babies. Most of them are from you, although there are some from Blondie, M, T, N, the whole crew...They are funny shit. There's alot of talk about work at the bar and moonlight bowling and the C town crew vs the H town crew. Most of them end with "WBS" and "Sorry So Messy", LMAO! It made me wonder if you kept any of the notes from me? And what did you do to your right hand during high school that you had to write with your left hand?!??

There were also some letters from some people I don't even remember, and will need to probe the memory of my brother and possibly others to place these people.

I definitely will need to take some more time to go through my little black box someday soon, but for now my thirst has been quenched, and my heart is full of the sweet memories of young love and HS friends.