I am feeling totally blah today.
Somewhat melancholy.
I could really just go curl up in my bed and sleep away today. I don't want to be conscious today.
Could have something to do with the news I found out this weekend about an old friend of mine who is a recovering alcoholic who apparently relapsed like a year ago, unbeknown to ME, but known to a bunch of OTHER people who for some reason didn't care enough for her or me to think that maybe they should tell me? Or maybe they thought I would know (if they didn't know that we don't keep in touch like we used to), and didn't care enough about her to ask me if I had tried to help her?? The whole situation is heart wrenching, and I have no idea how to approach it, but feel like I need to at least try to reach out to her...I feel so bad that we have lost touch, and I hate that I didn't see it, and that I didn't know for so long. I hate thinking about her in the condition that I have been told she has been seen in around her small town and the nearby town; it breaks my heart. It also breaks my heart to think about what could have happened to cause her to relapse after like 20+ years? I hate the whole thing and am trying to figure out how I am going to move forward from here.
Could have something to do with the fact that we haven't seen much sunshine in over a week.
Could be that I didn't hardly see L at all this weekend. I have been thinking about him a lot today; I want to just go get him and go home and snuggle with him on the couch and watch Dora or Diego with him.
I even went and bought my new vacuum on lunch break today (they were out of stock, so they will ship it to my work for free within about a week), and only spent half what I originally thought I would (yay!) and not even that little shopping spree made me feel any better.
I still want to write the remembrance post from last Thursday, but the news from this weekend has me not in the appropriate frame of mind to do the day justice, so stay tuned for that.
I hope everyone is having a better Monday than I am.
So Very Many Mixed Emotions
20 hours ago
5 comments:
I am sorry you are taking the news to hard. I actually only found out a couple weeks ago someone had mentioned it to me, but they had made it sound like it had just started happening. I didn't know that it has been going on for so long. It is a bummer and really does make you wonder why it happened.
I would have told you if I had known but I am completely out of touch with that world these days.
I did find out some more info so you should really call me...
Nope, not having a better Monday here either. So sorry to hear about your friend; I don't know if there ever really is an answer when someone goes back out, and that is so sad. The worst is that they often don't make it back, so I will say some prayers that she will find her way back home to the group.
I felt this same way on Monday, actually didnt go to work. Hope you are doing better today
Im sorry to hear about your friend.
Obviously something is going on in her life to make her relapse.
I hope you can find the courage to talk with her.
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