Today, the woman who has been my best friend for the last 24+ years turns 30. I can hardly believe it, as all the memories I have with her feel as though they happened yesterday. I am beyond grateful that she is STILL a part of my life after all this time; and not just a part of my life, but an IMPORTANT part of my life.
We met when we were in 1st grade. She was the new girl, and I don't remember much about meeting her, but I remember I wanted to be friends with the new girl. We both lived in the country, near a small town, but rode different buses. I suppose we became friends because of our parents' shared connection to the local bar. I am not even sure. R probably remembers though, she remembers SO MUCH more than I do :0) I was just thinking the other day that I honestly don't even know where they lived before they came to my town? Funny how you can know someone intimately for the majority of your life and still not know everything about them!
R is completely intertwined in my life; she is as much a part of my history as I am. She knows everything I went through growing up; knows most everything that has shaped me into the person I am today, and I would like to think she feels the same way about me.
I remember so many good times; sliding down her icy driveway, being pulled by the 4 wheeler, the cooking shows we hosted from my sandbox, swimming at Trout Brook, tubing, that time I had my first Big Mac on the way to her cousins house, running around the hills by her house, our fantasy land of Terabithia near the fence corner at the edge of my parent's wooded property, her birthday party that year that we played with the Ouija board and her parents got SOOO pissed at us (OMG, that night still gives me the goosebumps; I had the funniest conversation with her parents the other night about that particular event - they have sworn revenge in the form of the gift of an Ouija board to mine and R's kids when they turn 12 - AHHH!!!), passing notes in high school, hot boxing the car with cigarette smoke on the way to school every morning, fighting!! (Oh the fights we had, LOL, we fought like a couple of wolverines, and about the stupidest stuff sometimes...but we always made up), our impromptu weekend jet-a-way to Florida 7 years ago, her telling me she was pregnant with C, being there at C's birth, learning of her pregnancy with M, her in my wedding 5 months pregnant with M...
I remember lots of tough times too; and sad times and angry times. Those are as much of our history as the good times...
Even though we fought, R was always there for me. She was my confidant, my rock, the one I could go to with anything, the one who understood the difficulty of my home life, the one who told me what I needed to hear, even if I didn't want to hear it, the one who had the guts to tell someone when she thought I had a problem with cocaine in HS (man, I was mad at her...She was right, although it was not coke, but similar...there is much to that story, but that is for another post).
Never could I guess that we would REALLY still be this close at 30 years old, 25 years after we met...We did drift apart for awhile, in the last year of HS (the time of the cocaine incident) and the first couple of years after HS. We had different things going on in our lives. But the Universe had plans for us, that did not include us growing further and further apart. We reconnected at a time when we both really needed it; she was at the beginning of some tough times in her life, and I was moving away from a destructive path in my life and feeling lost and was desperately missing her presence in my life (I didn't at the time know I was missing her so much, but looking back I can see it).
There is something, that I cannot put into words, about the unique relationship that forms with someone who has known you forever. It cannot be matched. It cannot be recreated with someone you meet in your adult life. Yes, strong bonds can be formed with someone you meet later in life, but for me, it will never feel the same as my relationship with R. As I said, she is as much a part of me as *I* am. Without her, I would not be whole. She cannot be extricated from the tapestry that is me.
Today, at 30, R is an amazing woman. Her journey has taken some turns that she never expected, and she isn't necessarily where she thought she would be at 30, but she is there, and she is living life. She is a strong woman (even if she feels weak inside), a great mother, a wonderful friend.
R~ I know that your life is not necessarily what you had pictured it to be, and you may feel that you could be doing things better or different, but just know that you ARE doing a great job, you ARE a great mother and friend, and you are a shining light on this earth, your children DID make a good choice when they chose you, and I am SO THANKFUL to have YOU as part of ME.
I hope that things in your life continue to look up; you deserve it. I wish for you a WONDERFUL birthday.
And I hope that in another 25 years I am saying Happy Birthday to my best friend of 50 years.
So Very Many Mixed Emotions
20 hours ago
3 comments:
What a baeutiful tribute to an equally beautiful woman.
I laughed and cried reading this. We were such dorky kids. I loved our cooking shows though. And Terabithia. We had a notebook and rules.
It is kind of funny all the memories that wouldn't be there without each other. We have shared a lot of firsts and a lot of lasts. Laughter and tears. Singing in the car (who could forget jamming to Offspring on our way to go skiing) and yelling about everything (I guess you could say we were a lot like sisters in that respect-we definitely yelled as much).
I do remember how we became friends. On my first day of school, you ran right over to me to talk to me. I was SO shy at that age. I remember the other person that talked to me that first day was Missy. I was the new girl and did not know anyone. After that first day, we were always with each other. The connection between our parents and the town we lived in made the bond that much stronger.
I have all these little memories too: signing up for the chess club in middle school just so we could ride the activity bus home, playing 4-square, Mrs. O talking to us in 3rd grade because we were fighting, always being in the same class until we hit 5th grade, sharing a locker, volleyball in middle school, smoking those weird little twigs or grass in your dad's old cars, making the whirlpool in the swimming pool, eating cheese omelets and ravioli every time I stayed overnight, playing PIG with your bro, bonfires, blackberry brandy, Malibu, laser light shows, parties up the back road, Penny and Buff, your dad's homemade buns, your mom's cheese peas and above all, the freedom that came with (and still comes) knowing someone knew EVERYTHING about you (with the exception of not where I lived before I magically showed up at your school)
R~
LOLOL, now *I* am laughing and crying!! OMGosh, you brought up some doozies!! I had forgotten about chess club, and Mrs. O talking to us - but now that you mention it I totally remember that! How traumatic that was in 5th grade to be in separate classes for the first time. We smoked those stupid hollow reed things, LMAO, we totally thought they were pot!!! They were so HARSH, they made our throats hurt so much. We WERE such dorks.
I can't believe you remember my dads buns and moms cheesy peas; I STILL love cheesy peas and make them once in awhile :0) Oh, and I make a mean Dad bun now too; I will have to make you a batch. I remember your dads chili; he made lots of spicy stuff :0)
Blackberry Brandy - UGHHH! God, all I remember about that night is sitting in that really soft sand in the freezing cold, and then waking up with my head in the toilet, calling for you, and thinking how refreshing the cold toilet bowl water was?!!? LMAO...And then stumbling through the living room and passing out with my head in on a bowl...I think that night has a LOT to do with why I never got into drinking ;0)
How about Ivory? And what was the other dog's name that you had at the same time as Ivory?
And I am sure I know, somewhere back in my brain, where you lived before you magically appeared ;0)
Whew, what a trip.
I love you so much.
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