Blood pressure...

So my last pregnancy, I was tooling along just fine, everything was great, and then I went in for a check up at 23 weeks, and all of a sudden my blood pressure had jumped, from it's nice and steady 120/60 up to around 150/80. Doc says

Hmmmm...blood pressure has been fine, but now is jumping up...Did you do anything strenuous this morning?

Nope.

Well, we're gonna have to watch that...I want to see you back in two weeks, and if it hasn't gone down, I may have to put you on bedrest.

WHAH?????

So whatever, I go on for the next two weeks, feeling fine, sure that it was a fluke. Go back for my appt two weeks later, nurse takes my pressure, 165/90...doc comes in and says...

Blood pressure isn't good, sorry, but your done working.

WHAH???

Like, I'm done working for a week or so until we get it under control with rest and meds or what-not?

No, like you're done until after you have this baby...

WHAH??? I am done working at 25 weeks??? Just like that? I left work today in the middle of a big bid, expecting to come back tomorrow and work for another 3 months till I have my baby, but now I am just done, just like that? OMG, what am I going to tell my work?

So, life goes on. I called work, and told them I was on doctor ordered bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy, and they were great...they were very understanding, and actually helped me out in addition to being understanding...Luckily, I had taken out a short term disability plan with a benefit period of 3 months, which I had intended on having for the sole purpose of being able to take additional time off after the baby was born. Luckily for us I had taken it out, because it paid my salary for the 3 months I was on bedrest. There wasn't any left over for after the baby was born, but between using PTO and budgeting, I was still able to take my 3 months off after L was born.

I was lucky last time...My blood pressure was pretty well controlled through meds and partial bedrest, and it never went beyond that into pre eclampsia or eclampsia, which can be very detrimental to mom and baby...I made it to 38 weeks, and L was born healthy. As soon as I had him, my blood pressure returned to normal.

I was hoping that maybe this pregnancy would be different, but I am getting worried that it may not be...When I went in at 6.5 weeks for my early appointment (which I have because of my history of ectopic pregnancy) my blood pressure was 130/70. Not bad, but ALREADY CREEPING. Last time it was great until 24 weeks...now it is ALREADY creeping...I mentioned this to my dr when she came in and she said she expects it to go up during this pregnancy and for us to be doing tests (that would be urine protein tests, where I have to collect my pee for a 24 hour period in a jug and bring it in for them to test - fun!) and to be watching me...That's fine and dandy, but I am worried I am going to end up on bedrest earlier this time.

Last week I got a headache...I never get headaches, and a headache that doesn't go away with tylenol can be a sign of high bp...I took some tylenol and went to bed. It was gone the next morning, but it still got my brain going...I took my bp at one of those little pharmacy testing machines today, and it was 150/85! UGH! Could be partly cuz I just walked from the back of the parking lot and across the whole store, but still...

I am worried that I am going to end up on bedrest from my 12 week appt on or some crazy crap! Don't get me wrong; I do NOT want to risk the health of my baby, or myself, but OMG, what am I going to tell work? Sorry, I need 10 mos off? (7 for the rest of the pregnancy and the 3 I am taking afterward) Luckily, this time, I took out a 6 month short term disability benefit period, which means technically we would be getting the amount equal to my take home pay for the majority of my bedrest, which we should be able to make it on, but I forgot that I have daycare costs taken out of my check pre-tax, so when I figured what benefit amount we should apply for I didn't take that into account, so daycare costs would come out of that amount and I know I am getting ahead of myself, but UGH! And what if W were to get laid off on top of me being on bedrest and had to go on unemployment and was making less than 50% what he makes at work?!? Then what?

And I am worried with it starting so early that it may progress into worse this time...I never had protein in my urine last time, which is good, that meant that it was not progressing to toxemia, but maybe if it starts earlier it will this time?

I'm just scared.

Hopefully it will just be boarderline, and I can convince her to try and treat it with meds, but let me keep working for a bit...maybe it will stay boarderline and I can work something out with work to work from home part time or something for as long as possible...I know they would probably go for something like that...I am hoping they are as willing to help me this time as they were last time. I just worry that with the state of the economy and how we are slower now than we were last time I was pregnant that they will be less helpful and understanding...

I also know this is premature to be thinking about, but if I DO have problems again in this pregnancy, I can pretty much guarantee that this will be our last baby...

UGH.

My friend L really believes that the energy that we put out there is what comes back to us...that we create our own reality per se...I am really going to put faith in that and try to meditate and relax and put it out there to the universe that ALL WILL BE WELL...