At least in between the anxiety. But I am keeping that at bay for the most part, and if it gets too bad, I promise I will talk to my doctor about it. I know it is being partly brought on (or made worse) by the pregnancy, and the rational part of my brain knows that lying awake at night going over and over and over things and getting more and more anxious will not change what is going to happen.
Enough of that though, I did not come here to blog about that. I am trying to not think about THAT. On a mostly unrelated topic, I have a weird, probably insightful, may make you think I am a nut job kind of post brewing, that I hope to share with you sometime soon, but the timing will have to be right, and it just hasn't been yet.
I DID come here to blog about 15.5 weeks, though. 15.5 down, 24.5 give or take a couple to go. As I said, I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER, and I am so thankful for that. I finally broke out the maternity pants over the weekend, I was still able to wear my regular pants with a hair binder through the button hole, but it was getting pretty uncomfortable so I had to give in. I am enjoying it, though, as I am getting enough of a belly that most anyone can tell I am pregnant (and SERIOUSLY, if you think this is a gunt when you see me, get real, I have never, and will never have a gunt!), but the rest of me hasn't gotten any bigger (well, my boobs have), so I actually feel like a *cute* pregnant lady...you know those ones whose bodies stay exactly the same, only they have this cute little basketball in the front. I am going to enjoy it while I can, as I am sure that by then end, I will be looking like a line backer or mack truck again...
I have a check up tonight. At this point they are pretty boring; weight check (actually kinda looking forward to this, as of last week I was down a pound, which means I hadn't gained ANYTHING yet!) blood pressure check, listen to babies hearbeat, and I'm outta there. I am going to take L with me though this time...I think it will be fun for him to hear the heartbeat; maybe, just maybe if we listen to his heartbeat, and my heartbeat, and then the babies heartbeat, it will help him understand that there REALLY IS something in there.
I am REALLY getting anxious now to feel the baby move...I have felt something here and there that *could* be her (or him, but just know now that from here on out, even though we will not know until birth for sure, I will be referring to the baby as her, for ease of blogging, and cuz I do hope this one is a her!), but it could also be gas, or just weird muscles I never knew I had growing or moving. Really anytime now I could start feeling her. That is going to make it so much more real, and that is when the bond will really start forming.
My baby is now about 4" long, and the size of a softball. She can bend her arms at the elbows and wrists, make a fist, and suck her thumb. She is moving around in there, even though I don't feel her yet. She is really starting to look human!
In another 4 weeks I will get to have my ultrasound, and even though we won't find out the sex, it is still fun to see your baby in there, looking all human, doing tricks, and to see that all organs are as they should be and to hear that all is well so far.
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